Trip into the Amazon

The city of Iquitos can only be reached by plane or by ship on the Amazon River. In the middle of the biggest rainforest of the world we take the only one road from Iquitos to Nauta village: the crossing point of the two main sources of the Amazon River. There we got on board. Or better said: into one of the greatest adventures of my life. Andrés – within these three days our local guide and up until today the best guide I’ve ever had – didn’t even know at the age of 20 what a city looks like. He grew up in the rainforest like his father, who used to serve pumas for diner. Andrés did not only know everything about his green living room, he also cared about everything. We’re ready.

Piranhas, caimans and vampire fish. Many dangers are hiding in the most water-abundant river on earth. “Can I swim in the Amazon?” I asked Andrés without exposing myself to be naive. If anyone knew how to swim in the Amazon River without being at risk, it were the Amazon Indians. “Of course” he replied. Seconds later I was already in the brown jungle water.

Before that, Andrés informed us about possible dangers: Caimans (a crocodile species, which can grow up to 6m long) are staying only near the river shore. Just like the vampire fish, also known as penis fish. They can only become a danger if you start making mistakes by yourself. That is, for example, urinating nudely under water. This causes confusion for the eel-shaped fish and he takes your urination current for the gills of another fish to where he instinctively follows through urogenital openings in men and women. As he usually anchors there with a hook to suck for blood, it causes a hell of a pain in a man’s penis and can only be removed by surgery in the end. Swimming in rivers with a high piranha density is also harmless. Piranhas just eat sick and dead animals and just like a health police clean the water from carcasses. But you really shouldn’t have any open wounds or bleed. With their sharp teeth, they cling to their victim and are even able to rip out whole pieces of meat with their shaking movements.

So. I no longer had to be afraid. I was not naked, not near the shore, had no wounds and I was not in an urgent need to urinate. Happily I swam around, when Andrés suddenly started whistling in a very strange way. “The dolphins are coming,” he shouted at me. A little later I saw the first pink river dolphin appearing just in front of me. Wow! I won’t forget that for the rest of my life. I was totally filled up with joy. I could never recognize where they actually were in the brown water. But I always felt them swimming right next to me. Even more exciting. Whenever they showed up with their fins, my grin became extremely wide.

Mosquitos. I bought the most toxic mosquito repellent with the highest deet factor. Adding two thick, long sweaters. This was my protection. Both I didn’t need during the day. Not even when walking through the rainforest. Only before dusk I put the poison onto my skin so thick that my fingers got sticky. But what happens at night in the swampy Amazon rainforest isn’t comparable with anything else I experienced before. I couldn’t even take a bite from my sandwich, otherwise a swarm of mosquitoes would have come into my throat. At night time we were on the river as well as on land next to some ponds for around three hours. I came back with like 300 mosquito bites. Below through my pants. Above through my two thick sweaters and sticky toxic skin. Impressive.

During the day fantastic Andrés cut us the way through dense aquatic plants with his machete in a side river of the Amazon where we passed by some caimans. Little later we found an anaconda nest in the forest. Unfortunately without the anaconda. And when I got a slight stomachache, Andrés squeezed out some red juice from a certain tree bark as a medicine. You can even find fresh and clean drinking water, that we drank out of the cat’s claw vine. Andrés also took care of our appetite on the way. For the small hunger he pulled out some white larvae from a specific wood, which we skewered on a stem and roasted over his wooden made grill to receive some crispy proteins. For the big hunger we went fishing. While Andrés took out fish after fish, the piranhas sawed my bait with a vibrating grip on my fishing rod. As if these impressions were not enough for a lifetime, the most spectacular thing happened at night.

We set the alarm clock to 11p.m. I got up with tired eyes and went to my boots. Just on the way I reckoned it won’t be a bad idea turning on my flashlight. You never know. And suddenly I took notice of a 15cm tarantula in one of my boots. Fascinating. But this could have been painful. Later on the river vampire bats made circles above our boat. Andrés was particularly attentive. Suddenly he saw a snake. “Where?” We all shouted out loud at the same time. With his light Andrés pointed on the other side of the river bank. He had to be wrong, that was 20m away. When we rowed closer we indeed saw a 30cm small boa hanging in the branches. A little later, Andrés spotted a baby caiman and caught him with his bare hands just from our boat. Sensational. I was allowed to hold him shortly and carefully in my hands before we threw him back into the dark waters.

After some time the river started to get more and more narrow. Until it was too narrow to row with our oars. So we had to push ourselves on some tree trunks to get further. And then it happened: a sting. Infernal pain in my finger! I panicked and immediately showed Andrés my finger. “All good. Just a scorpion.“ Well, that couldn’t calm me down completely. But I trusted him completely. And did what he said: Spit. Rub it. Spit. Rub it. Without a break. I was in a hell of a pain for around one hour. Then my finger became twice as big as before. For the next 24 hours I couldn’t feel my finger and parts of my hand anymore. After that the pain stopped. Spitting as well. After my scorpion sting we drifted along the river for a while. And guess what – suddenly a silver piranha jumped directly into our boat right in front of my feet.

While we were joking about the impressive flying skills of piranhas, suddenly something squidgy jumped into my right ear and moved quickly. Now I’ve really had enough of surprises. I mean, after all, I don’t have the biggest ears. I panicked and tried quickly to get the creature out of my ear. What if it was toxic? And then it landed on the floor. We had to take a very close look. No way! It was a frog. Not bigger than a fingernail. Great laughter. I mean, who in the world happens to get a scorpion sting in his finger, a piranha jumping in front of his feet and a jumping frog in his ear within five minutes only?

After a while we had solid ground under our feet again and absolute darkness. Andrés showed us some hunting techniques. When he just discovered a 25cm bullfrog and asked us who wants to catch it. “Me.” Whether being driven from a pure learning will or from wanting to take revenge on a frog, I was no longer sure about that. Andrés gave me instructions. Keep a distance of 5cm between your thumb and finger. Tighten them firmly. Slowly sneak up from behind. And grab it quickly like a snake. He said. I did. The slippy muscle pack was in my hands. And quickly I released him again.

On the way back to our lodge, Andrés suddenly stopped. “What do you see?” I asked him. “Wild guinea pig. Five meters away.” This man is crazy. I didn’t see anything. Too dark. “You want to catch it?” But I realized my question was not necessary. Andrés already took his spear. Now I recognized the tiny animal. It jumped two meters away. This amused us. I mean, just the thought of hitting the rodent through the thick plants and bushes in that darkness from seven meters away was absurd. Andrés threw the spear. And we couldn’t believe our eyes. His spear went right through the rodent’s skull. He hit it so precisely that it didn’t even bleed. I asked Andrés: “Breakfast?” – “Breakfast.”