matilda pick up lines

RD.com. The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. Make him stop! . Fifteen times two is thirty. Eleven times two is twenty-two. I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. They're all mistakes, children! The subsequent fall was inevitable. Million $ Sticky Host: You can read words. That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. Filthy, nasty things. In a manner of speaking, yes. Yes. The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. [off to the side] She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . MRS PHELPS CHILDREN 2 Mr. Wormwood: MATILDA If you want to throw the hammer for your country. You're only four years old. $5,000? <> . We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. Tricks!" As long as you dont know it with the volume up. It's a good thing I have my library. Harry Wormwood: [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] Oil of Violets hair tonic. . The DOCTOR, MR WORMWOOD, and a male nurse enter. Trivia MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. Get out of it! MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. Oh my. This living 'ell. . When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. They are good runners, sir. Shut up! Oh, no, no, no, no, no. [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]. Not the end of your nose. . But I didn't do anything. You've made an awful error. MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD Yes, please. CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. Amanda Thripp: Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. MRS PHELPS You did this! . Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? . A flaming escapologist? Or even two, Bruce, Agatha Trunchbull: She'll call a truce, Bruce. There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. Thank you for suggesting it. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN Quite the contrary. It's just pathetic. The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. MATILDA Matilda: See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. Er, what books did you read? My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, My, my, that is good. . You gotta get up! MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. CHILDREN A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. There's nothing to fear. Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? Past Alice. That's not normal for a five-year-old. Yeah! MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. You're being pathetic! BIG KID [BEN] Harry Wormwood: . The secret to my success is this. What am I thinking? You chose books. All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. Miss Honey doesn't want you. Yep! One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] [talks to the woman librarian] Babes, I'm on fire, here! [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. MRS PHELPS . BIG KIDS . Matilda: This boy's got no fingie. ACT 1. How dare they speak to me like that! Agatha Trunchbull: Go on. He's part Italian, you know. I'm the best! MRS WORMWOOD 1. No one's going to look if you don't stand out. . My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! DOCTOR With her, it's all "books" and "stories". "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". But the one thing . ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Mrs. D? MISS HONEY Agatha Trunchbull: I have the adoption papers. [turns and sees Harry's hair] . Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. Mrs Phelps? I'll say! MATILDA sits down reading a book. You are guilty, because you are a fiend. MRS PHELPS screams and exits. A little less fact, a lot more feel. google_ad_height=90; Crime and Punishment . Have to admit Matilda? Don't be pathetic! Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] I'm the best! No. MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. What is this trash you're reading? Zinnia Wormwood: What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? But I'm a barrelina . DOCTOR No one is as handsome, strong as me. And if it's not right, Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. Matilda: Knock on the door, Jenny. I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away. Mr. Wormwood: A bell rings. Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. I told you that was a cheap set. Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! MR WORMWOOD If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. And if you cry it will be (W) double. Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! . These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words It is, is it? Yes! We're not rich. Twelve times two is twenty-four. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. She laughs. Agatha Trunchbull: Every new life Absolute silence. MATILDA . Harry Wormwood: His whatchamacallit. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS line up again. No, no, no, no [ad lib. Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! She opens a book. It's time you learned the family business. I think in effect, One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. Agatha Trunchbull: How do you do this? . Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. Miss Honey: Young lady, where were you? Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! Michael: Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Excellent man. . MISS HONEY LAVENDER How can I make up my own pickup line? I have all these extra. . Please. . NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. It's just a door. Knock on the door, Jenny. Good Lord, woman, have you started already? What can I do? MATILDA collects the remains of her book. FBI Agent Bob: Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. You have brats yourself? As me. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. Oh, Matilda, this is very sad! . A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. I . (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! Psst! MATILDA [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] Two BIG KIDS start climbing on the gate, flanking alphabet blocks as they are are pushed through the gate when they are mentioned in the song. . B-R-O-O-C-E! . MR WORMWOOD But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. MR WORMWOODOh, this is thick! have you read a whole book? Agatha Trunchbull: Cancelled, because my wife is . Stop! LAVENDER It's going to be brilliant! Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". I'm great! 3 0 obj You can adopt me. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. And so, the great day arrived! Narrator: What? MRS WORMWOOD It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. The teacher's clearly falling short. This one was mine. The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. Yes, Miss Trunchbull! My name is Miss Honey. That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives. MATILDA Oh, parle Italiano? [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] Two, three, four! I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. Zinnia Wormwood: To the rules. Just knock on the door. From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? cancelled! NIGEL lies down on the ground. Over a drink. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> Oh, yeah. RUDOLPHO I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy you sold me and shove it up your bazooga! MR WORMWOOD Bye-bye, sir. As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. . Well, Matilda Wormwood. There's not a lot of difference in size. Platinum blonde hair dye. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] Agatha Trunchbull: . Miss Honey: MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD Miss Honey: MATILDA It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! I will get you like you got me. Of course! A child. MRS PHELPS She says they make me look pretty! Trunchbull: . It's Miss Honey. WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? Well, you got a light. Matilda: You missed it. Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. in a week. In my school? Please! ALL COUPLES: What? Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. Miss Honey: Zinnia Wormwood: Above average is average. The second one cost $512. . Dip face! If you want to throw the hammer for your country. The ACROBAT enters from the back of the stage, and the ESCAPOLOGIST takes her by the hand. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. They were written that way: I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! Even me. [:g-] BIG KID [BEN] Trunchbull: It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Flipping, filthy, nasty, stupid Russians! MATILDA Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Alternate Versions The stage goes black. From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? Mrs. Wormwood: National Green Hair Day! That makes me so happy. Do you have a job? "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." She found a small cottage. You haven't got time for "but". So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. DOCTOR If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. Seven times two is fourteen. RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. Dinner time is family time. . My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! She uses them to carry on a conversation. We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. A shrimp. Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! Please, stand, and do as much as you can. AAAHH! No kid likes being yelled at. His do-dah. celebrities! "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". The novel has an inspirational message that everyone can stand up for themselves against bullies like Matilda does against Mrs. Trunchbull. Matilda: MR WORMWOOD and astronauts! BIG KIDS This it not your problem. Sing, children. MISS HONEY MR WORMWOOD Zinnia Wormwood: What are you waiting for? The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. MRS PHELPS Harry Wormwood: MATILDA Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. Agatha Trunchbull: I didn't do it. But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! And if you want to make the team, Trunchbull: . And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! Get in the car, Melinda! You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. Narrator: NIGEL MATILDA Mrs. Wormwood: Matilda: BIG KIDS Past Matilda. Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. In . What do you want a book for? OLDER KIDS 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. MRS WORMWOOD It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. MISS HONEY Jenny: This child doesn't have a "thingie" . Others take a less emotional approach. . Narrator: Her life was good and happy. Miss Honey: BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. My mummy says I'm a miracle, "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". From a book in the library. Eight times two is sixteen. Isn't there some more? See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? I think she might be an idiot. (Bruce!) MRS WORMWOOD and MICHAEL down sit in armchairs. WOMAN: And insightful. Miss Honey: MRS WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. Bruce! It's just that they want that child so very much. I'm not guilty! . Mr. Wormwood: She holds up the final "10". I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . One should avoid confrontation when possible. You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! 9. What? Come along, Bogtrotter. If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. . Agatha Trunchbull: They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. Agatha Trunchbull: A girl I know used to live in that house. Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. A boy with no fingie? These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Ah-ah-aah-ah And it isn't wide enough to sit. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, What was my profit for the day? I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough. And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. What am I gonna do? [chanting with the rest of the class] Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. Marvellous. You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. Well? Oliver Twist . She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. it isn't fair! The boy's a looney. A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. Miss Honey: A poem? 5. She seems not to know that she's special at all. Harry Wormwood: Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? My daddy says I'm his special little guy! Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. MATILDA He's my dance partner. Yes, Miss Trunchbull. MR WORMWOOD Go on, Brucey! What do you want, Miss Chutney? It's the mileage. Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. What're they going to do, repossess the kid? MRS PHELPS MR WORMWOOD . This is the cottage from your story. . MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. One second, Dad. MISS TRUNCHBULL Matilda: This uncorrupted mind. Agatha Trunchbull: All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? Could I speak to you for a moment, please? Knock on the door, Jenny. This miracle . MR WORMWOOD You've seen one before. "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". Matilda: Miracle! Have another marshmallow, Dip face. Even time loves us.". Prettier barrelina! ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? DOCTOR . No one's gonna care if you don't care, There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. Just you wait for phys-ed! . Yes, wonderful. Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. If you can't handle the little brat, I'LL LOCK HER IN THE CHOKEY! MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. Forgotten, by everyone except, that is [She pulls her coat over her head.] Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. We have everything . Every life I bring into this world These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. I'll come back later, then. Aaaargh! . <> COUPLE 3 I did *not* glue my hat to my head! MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. What are you looking at? They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. Not a jot! Let me tell you something, son. And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. She's reading a book. You want Matilda to go to college? Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! . [picks up two bowls of cereal] MATILDA Who is this, babe? But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? [to his partner] Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? If you sit around and let them get on top, you so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, Chew your food; you're an animal! To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. Oh, right. "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] She stops in triumph. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. Good show. [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. A little less flat, a lot more heel. I believe that . He'd call me bumblebee. Oh, you stupid man. If you don't, I will get you. He's going to blow. Matilda Wormwood! Wormwood! CHILDREN RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. No, it's a library book! Nobody but me is gonna change my story. What am I? That was only the first part of your punishment. MISS HONEY This still, unbroken skin, A table with the word "Contest" emblazoned on the side is wheeled in. Don't hide it under a bushel. The most common thing in life is life . And yet every single life, Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. Let's leave maths for the time being . They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. In . Considerably roomier inside. Harry Wormwood: PERSPERATION! Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! Might have been nice, Matilda: I don't know. RUDOLPHO MRS WORMWOOD Completely different cars, sir. You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? Ah-ah-aah-ah. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! MRS PHELPS CHILDREN They line up at the back of the stage. Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. I ate the lot! 4. Is a miracle! Sued by who? MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. MISS TRUNCHBULL The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. The guy with the stupid haircut! MISS HONEY What's this? Why? FBI Agent Bill: If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. Lavender? To read? Now, the secret to my success in business is . Absolutely, sir! Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. She'll call a truce, Bruce. MATILDA . [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] MATILDA 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) MATILDA collects her books. You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. No! I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. A book? Rudolpho! WOMAN: Smile for mummy! At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. No, not there! Hey, dip face. [throws carrot from the spoon. She laughs. So they say. MATILDA A member of the mafia! [She takes MATILDA by the wrist and leads her to ERIC's desk.] Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! And always keep your feet inside the line! I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. And I will Teach you a thing or two. Just because you find that life's not fair, it Creep on back to that library of yours or something. [grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist] Do I allow pigs in my school? You have to stay inside the circle all the time. The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. I love my school it isn't fair! BIG KID [RYAN] Well, I'll pay you back, young lady.

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